This should be your daily DECLARATION over your RELATIONSHIP

1.I have the mind of Christ, so my relationship has a sound mind.
2. Sin shall not have dominion over us but we shall honour the Lord with our relationship.
3. My relationship abides under the shadow of the Almighty. I say of the Lord, He is our refuge and our strength, our shield and buckler.
4. Even if a thousand relationships fail by our right side and ten thousand by our left, it shall not come near ours.
5. My partner shall not die. I shall not die. We are living a full and satisfied life.
6. Our love is growing stronger and our union is growing in depth.
7. No weapon formed against our union shall prosper and every tongue that rises against us in judgment God has condemned.
8. Our past is forgiven and we do not live in condemnation. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set us free from the law of sin and death.
9. We have grace to resolve all our differences without breaking out union.
10. We have grace to be faithful to our relationship and the union after the vows.
11. We have grace to communicate effectively and to build our friendship.
12. We have grace to be caring, thoughtful and romantic. Our love will only wax stronger and stronger always.
13. We have grace to be kind one to another in my relationship.
14. We have grace not to be haughty and self seeking in my union.
15. We have grace to go past issues and not keep records of wrongs.
16. We have grace to keep quiet when we are too angry to make sense.
17. We have grace to forgive, forget and pray for each other.
18. We have grace to be faithful and to be above board morally.
19. We have grace to say no to sin and to establish a pattern of righteousness.
20. We are blessed and favoured, our union will not be frustrated by funds or lack. We prosper in all things. All our needs are met, our bills are paid and we have more than enough for Evey good work.

#iConfess #iDeclare
#Dating #Courting #Married

Culled from Relationship and Marriage Facebook Page.

This should be your commutment to your yet unknown spouse.

1. I commit to wait for you.
2. I commit to preserve my body for you!

3. I commit to improve myself in every way possible so as to present myself to you fit for our destiny.
4. I commit to pray for you so that God's will for you and us would not be lost in the pressures of life.
5. I commit to refuse and decline alternatives to you whilst I wait for you.
6. I commit to consciously and deliberately serve God now and when you come.
7. I commit to seek God's opinion concerning our future and begin to pray it through.
8. I commit to pray for you that you rise above your weaknesses and grow in strength. That you would not be swallowed up in the trials and temptations Satan will throw but you will emerge victorious on every occasion.
9. I commit to stop making excuses and start making adjustments, to improve and become the best possible version of me all the time.
10. I commit to be productive and to be useful to our union when we connect soon.
11. I commit to pray you into my life from whatever distance you currently are. What God has joined together let nothing put asunder. We are about to happen.
12. I commit to watch my weight and not let my appetite control my size while I wait for you.
13. I commit to pay attention to wise counsel by GOD'S word, read great books and add value to my mind.
14. I promise to pray for our unborn kids ahead of our having them and to pray for them until this world I leave
15. To you my yet to be partner, I commit to do all things within my understanding to prepare for the day our love we shall have!

To my:
#UnknownLover

#Love #Promises #Focus #Future #Purpose #Dating #Courtship #Marriage #Life

Culled from Relation & Marriage Facebook Page.

7 Things to Know before Getting Married.

7 slides on basic things to think about before getting married.

Courtship is final stage of interview for marriage and if we don't pass certain questions, we shouldn't get the job.

See slides

Culled from Relationship & Marriage Facebook Page.

7 Slides to See Abuse Relationship.

7 slides to help you see abuse and low self esteem patterns.

Most abuse you hear about in marriage started in relationship and were accepted, endorsed and stamped by the victim before  they got in.

This is not to "blame" everyone suffering abuse in marriage but to come clear to you Singles that you can and your own abuse if you don't know what it looks like.

Meanwhile, THE FACT THAT STANDARDS ARE SO LOW ON EARTH NOW DOESN'T MEAN HOLDING UP THE TRUE STANDARD IS HOLDING UP A STANDARD TOO HIGH!
You get what you accept.

Be wise

#Singles #Abuse #Godly #Standards #Love #Courtship #Dating #Marriage

Culled from Relation & Marriage.

Love and Emotion.

I have discovered that love doesn't guarantee the success of a relationship. Love cannot help you stick to one person all years round, and on the other hand, cheating isn't always a product of not loving your partner. In fact, loving someone doesn't guarantee not falling in love with someone else. Relationships work out mostly because of our head not our heart. It works out because of our emotional maturity, empathetic intelligence and self discipline because, time will come when you'll see more beautiful, handsome, romantic, intelligent, sexy, rich, curvy and God fearing people than the one you're in a relationship with. In those times, love will not help you; self control will help you, emotional intelligence will come to your rescue and commitment will keep you going. With those characteristics, no matter how you feel for someone else, the person you're committed to will rank first in your life. You think happily married people don't see better people than the ones they married? You think they don't feel funny sometimes? You think they don't catch feelings? They do! But understanding that commitment is greater than feelings is the great arsenal that do destroy that impulse. You can fall in love with anyone, but building a relationship takes absolutely more than what attracted you to them and takes more than love. We are too fond of loving when it's convenient and sweet. We are too fond of loving when love is there but that can only last for just the first 3-6 months of the relationship. After then, you'll realise that the feelings have dropped, it's now your responsibility to make it work, not love's responsibility. Relationships cannot be readymade. You have to build it and it's never always about love, it requires commitment and intelligence. On the long run in marriages, it's not just love that keeps them together forever, it's determination and commitment. Everyone falls in love; it takes little or no effort to do that. But staying in love? Building a relationship? Only the strong and committed ones do that. That's why we must find that one person and commit to that one, discipline yourself and bridle your emotions. Building a relationship is hard work, it's like building a career, It's like pursuing a dream. It's always tough, at some point it will be so bitter but you can make it work by putting your heads together, you can scale through the trying time by being focus and committed. The kind of love that attracts two people together is not the kind of love that will keep them together. Be emotionally strong and be self disciplined...

STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND.

One basic truth you should know in marriage is that, there is no perfect man or woman or simply put,
there is no perfect marriage, every successful marriage that you see or cherish so much, much work,
sacrifices and efforts have been invested. If you assume the man out there is better off than your
husband, u may as well give it a trial. The man out there you assume is a perfect man has his
weaknesses only his wife can tell you that. You are the one to bring out the kind of person you want
from your husband. Is your husband a dirty man? Then help him by showing him how to be clean. But if

you think by abusing and shouting at him will cause him to be clean, my dear it won't work. Rather both
of you would end up living like cat and rat.
Does he flirt? He goes after our young ladies and married women? Don't flare up. You cannot use fuel to
put off fire. Your husband is already on fire, so shouting and calling him all such of names is like pouring
fuel on the fire. Most women in bid to using this approach to put their husbands under control end up
been battered or thrown out of the home. What should you do in this situation? It's a time to re-
examine yourself and him. It's a time to HUMBLY ask him questions. Try to find out what exactly he
cherishes from other women that perhaps you don't have. Or ask what exactly he sees in other women
that he did not see in you. The feedback you get will go a long way to solving the issue. While doing this,
don't forget the power of prayers. A praying woman is a wining woman. So much happens when you go
on your kneels to utter situations concerning your spouse. Never you give up on him. Most men behave
like children. So equally see them as your child and keep working on him.
Stop complaining about him. Your complain will not solve any problem rather it will worsen the
situation. He may see your complain as nagging and never a corrective measure. Stop parading your
husband as if he is the worse husband on earth. He's not! Mind you, making your marriage to work is
your responsibility. Every husband and wife should learn to build their home. Learn to sought things out
by yourself. Learn to lay hands on your husband while he's asleep and pray for him. Learn to pray
together. Study the bible together. Don't live your husband in the hands of third parties to be corrected.

Every third has their own third parties that are mediating into their own case too. They don't have
solution to your marriage crisis or challenges. When people come into your marriage, they are
weakening the foundation of your marriage. Some third parties have rendered most marriages useless.
Be careful and be warned. Marriage is all about working out your own salvation by yourself. If you can
handle the challenges yourself, marriage will become a bed of roses for you, otherwise it will be full of
thorns and bristles.
STOP COMPLAINING!!!

THIS IS WHAT KEEPS THE LOVE GLOWING IN MARRIAGE.

...every husband must LOVE his wife as himself, and every wife must RESPECT her husband.
-Eph 5:33

Most women have erroneously believed a cliché that says "if you want to get to a man's heart, it must
be through his stomach i.e. by the food you prepare for him". Well if you still believe that at this your
age, then something must be wrong somewhere. Who told you or where it is in the bible that the
easiest way to man's heart is by the food you give him? Listen, what a man needs from a woman is not
SEX, he can get that outside, what he needs is not FOOD, he can get that from any good restaurant,
what your husband needs from you is RESPECT. And for the men, what your wife needs from you is not
SEX because she can get that outside, what she needs from you is not MONEY because there other men
that are ready to lavish her with such, what she needs from you is GENUINE LOVE that comes from the
heart. When a woman is genuinely loved, you will see it all over her. It will reflect in everything she
does. Her fellow women will see it all over her. She will be proud of you everywhere she goes. She can
sacrifice her life for you.
A man must love his wife in other to have a blissful home. And the easiest way to build that love for her
is to genuinely love God. God is love and his love has been shared in heart by the power of the Holy
Ghost. He that loves his wife loves himself. Remember God made woman out of a man, invariably, a
woman is an integral part of a man. So you cannot hate your wife and love yourself. Every reaction to
your wife is a reaction to yourself. So if you abuse her, you abuse yourself indirectly. If she looks bad
outside, means you as the husband is bad inside. Cherish and love your wife as God loves the church.
Always stand for her whether good or bad and she will stand for you always. Magnify and protect her
self-image and she will lavish herself on you. Live with her with the understanding as unto the weaker
vessel. What she wants from you is not to pamper her but to love her. When you love her, you've
equally pampered her. Respect her opinion and listen to her when she talks. Correct her in love and
never disgrace her publicly, extol her before your children and other women and she will sing your
praises all over the world. Always tell her that you love her whether in season or out of season.
And to the woman, your husband is your crown. What is the value of the crown without the head? It will
be worthless and useless. Respect the headship of the man. Treat him with utmost respect by being
completely submissive to him. Don't practice feminism with your husband. If you want to dishonor your
home and tear it apart, tell your husband that he has no right over you. The concept of feminism is
tearing the home apart; wives are dragging equal right with their husbands. My dear please desist from
such. If you must practice feminism, do that in the political sector.

The bible said, Sarah called Abraham LORD or my MASTER. See your husband as one. See him as a man
under God's authority. Calling your husband lord or master is like the pet names you call him-darling,
honey, sweety, my love, heart, etc. Call him those names, it cost you nothing but it goes a long way to
cement your bond with him. Be proud of him anywhere you go. Don't ever downgrade your husband
before your friends and families. Even if you have issues, try to manage the situation. Remember there
are people that may not want you to succeed in your marriage, proof to them that you got what it takes
to a have a blessed and blissful marriage. Don’t call your husband a foolish man or stupid man. If you call
him such names and he begins to act like one, the home will be very hot and unbearable for you.
Respect his opinions and listen while he talks. Even if he disagrees with your opinion or suggestion, don’t
flare up, don’t enforce it on him; humbly seek why he rejects it. The reason could be for your good or
good of the family. But where there is no reason for his objection, stay calm and watch. Delay is never
denial. Don’t turn your home to WrestleMania; you may end up getting more than what you bargain.
Above all put your kneels to work by constantly interceding for him. Asking God to bless, protect, keep
and favour him always. He faces 1000 + 1 dangers every time he goes out to make sure he puts food on
the table. Pray for him.
Marriage is sweet when both work it out together. Make your marriage heaven on earth. God bless our
union. Amen!

WHO IS A HUSBAND?

Husband does not mean the male partner in a marriage, husband means master.The reason for most
problems in Christian marriages is the fact that women refute God’s definition of marriage and form
theirs. They believe they are equal partners.
If most women had their fathers bold enough to talk to them, they will be very successful in their
marriage and they will be very happy people. Most women have never been taught by their parents,
their fathers particularly and that’s their biggest problem because they don’t know who a man is, they
think he is another woman.
In marriage, you have the man who is the head of that union and because he’s the head of that union,
it’s important to understand him. You think he’s the one that needs to understand his wife and that is
where you are wrong. He will eventually but you have to know the type of man you are married to and
his needs.

When you say you are marrying a man, you are coming under his authority. The Bible says, the man is
the head of the woman (1 Corinthians 11:3) so when you marry him you come under his authority, you
are not authority sharers even though you are both heirs to the kingdom of God.
When you decide not to subject yourself to that authority, you are a rebel and God is not going to
accept what you are doing because you are not functioning correctly. Why did God make the woman?
Making woman was not God’s original plan because after God created Adam and before He made Eve,
He said in Genesis 1:31 “Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good”. God
made woman because of man so woman was not His original idea. This is reality.
Genesis 2:18a “And the Lord God said “for it is not good for a man to be alone..” The Bible didn’t say
“lonely” but “alone”. There is a big difference. Man wasn’t lonely but alone. Genesis 2:18b “…I will make
him an help meet”. He didn’t say a partner or a supervisor or a special advisor or someone to tell him
what to do.
I will make him someone to help him. God gave man a responsibility so woman was made to help man
achieve that responsibility.
If this is understood in every home then you won’t have problems.
I tell people that you don’t need a marriage seminar, you need the Word Seminar. Let me tell you, no
husband wants another mother, he has had one all his life. He doesn’t want an older sister, he probably
had one.
Your secret is in obedience, your secret is in listening to your husband, your secret is in doing the things
that please him. When you don’t do the things that please him, you take the role of a mother or of an
older sister.
A man loves the one he serves (God) and the one that serves him (a good wife). He fights the one that
wants to be at the same level with him (a rebellious wife).
To be happy in your family and home is the easiest thing in the world, just take your role. Take your
place. That place that God gave you is a beautiful place. It’s a place of peace. It’s a place of love. It’s a
place of excellence.
Every wise person listens to wise voices (advice) but he listens to a wise voice that is presented wisely.
Everyone rebels against the voice that is trying to make a fool out of him. When you want to correct
your husband, don’t lord it over him, present it as a wise suggestion. Humble yourself and be smart.
A wise woman will always be an influence to her husband, the foolish one will always annoy the
husband, make him mad, make him angry and when you make him angry, you will be the victim. Learn

to listen to your husband, practice it, and tell yourself that you are going to do it because that is where
your beauty is.
Once you stop listening, your beauty evaporates. You wonder why you are dressing and he can’t see it,
he doesn’t remember your last hair style. Beauty is in obedience. That’s where the Glory is.
God bless you!
Message by: Rev Dr Chris Oyakhilome Dsc DD

DON’T BE IN A HURRY TO MARRY

Marriage is a covenant, it’s a commitment, it’s a responsibility and it’s a bond. Marriage is a life time
relationship and habitation until till death. Marriage is not for jokers. It’s not for “boys” or “babies”.
There is a place of preparation before marriage. You can’t just wake up one morning and decide to get
married. If you are not prepared for the challenges of marriage before you say “I do”, it will be a case of
garbage in, garbage out. Jesus said in Mathew 19, that marriage is not for everybody(paraphrased). And
Apostle admonished us in 1 Corith 7, that it’s advisable if one stays unmarried if he has self-
control(paraphrased). This does not mean that Jesus and Paul were against marriage; rather they were
letting us know what marriage is all about. They are making us understand that marriage is a life time
commitment. Once you are married you are married you cannot divorce. And if you must divorce, you
must not remarry until one party dies.

Marriage is a covenant that must not be broken by either party. It’s a covenant that God honours and
place premium on. And this was why he said that he that finds a wife finds good thing and obtains
favour from God. Marriage is so important to God that he joined and blessed the first ever marriage on
earth in the garden of Eden. And he vehemently warned that what he joins together that no man should
put asunder. You cannot go into marriage and later divorce your spouse. God hates divorce. Divorce for
any reason other than adultery is not recognized by God, and the divorced partner becomes guilty of
adultery if he or she remarries. The person he or she marries also becomes guilty of adultery. This is
serious business. God does not take it lightly.
In one of his messages in Mathew 19, his disciples were amazed when they heard his words that “no
man is permitted to put away his wife”. His disciples said, if the case of the man be so with his wife, then
it is not good to marry. But Jesus said unto them, all men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom
it is given. When the disciples heard this, and knowing how horrible it is to divorce, they concluded that
it was better never to marry, otherwise you will be trapped once you get in.
If a lot would be ready to pay the price for their marriage, there wouldn’t be divorce or better put, the
rate of divorce would reduce drastically. Why we have high rate of divorce in our society is because a
lot rush into marriage without an adequate preparation. Some have the mindset that the moment you
have some money, you can go ahead and marry. Money is not marriage and does not guarantee a happy
marriage even though it’s required to run a home. Money has a role it plays in marriage but does not
bring happiness in marriage. Happiness in marriage comes from a mutual understanding of both and
there preference to the things of the spirit. You can be happy in a marriage without extravagant wealth.
And you can have too much money and yet no happiness.
Before you rush into marriage, make out time to learn from those who have been there and are still
there. Ask questions from your parents. For those of you whose parents union have stood the test of
time, ask them to teach you what marriage is all about. Don’t assume you know more than them. They
got the experience and you got nothing. The worst that can happen to anyone seeking to get married is
to go to a divorcee to seek advice. A blind man can never lead a blind a man, both will fall inside a ditch.
Ladies ask your dad questions. Ask him to tell you what a man requires from a woman. When you don’t

have first class information of what a man requires from a woman, learning it most time in the marriage
may be challenging except you will be humble enough to learn and cope with it. Young men should also
ask there mum what a man can do to his wife to make her happy? As minor these questions are, they
can keep a marriage till ages if the answers could be applied. You can have a happy marriage only if you
are ready to make it work.
Make up your mind before you go into marriage. Make up your mind come rain come sun you will
remain in it. Make up your mind that you must make your marriage work. Make up your mind that you
will seek the face of God before you go into it. Make up your mind to read books on marriages from
renowned authors whose marriage has stood a test of time, as you are ready from one now. Make up
your mind that you will attend marriage seminars to learn more.

Don’t rush into marriage because some of your friends are married. Don’t rush into marriage because
someone mocks you. Don’t rush into marriage because you assume that age is no longer on your side.
Don’t rush into marriage because you want to proof to the world that there is no big deal getting
married. Marriage is a deliberate trap to those that are ready to take the challenge. Never you be in a
hurry to get married. God bless you.